argh...

so i've been at the office in the 'burbs now officially for two months. i make damn good money and the staff is phenomenal and the patients are terriffic, but the place is not without it's kinks. no place is perfect, of course not. but did some things ever just rub you the wrong way, even if when you break it down mentally and there's no rational or logistical reason for it, you kind of just get a hunch or an unsettled type of feeling? that's kind of how i feel about my (newest) boss.

it's great to have a colleague there to bang ideas around with, consult with, ask questions to when you're completely lost, and she's great for that. but every day i'm reminded, both intrinsically and sometimes literally verbally, that it's her practice and she's got the final word. "don't use a new silicone polishing point for each composite and don't throw them out when they become nubs, this is my practice and i decide when things get thrown out." "i don't agree with this treatment plan, it's too aggressive/not aggressive enough, this is my practice and we all have to be on the same page." "i'll be doing this crown on this patient because it's my practice and i'm not familiar with your work." "these aren't your patients (even though you treatment planned them), they belong to the practice." ummm, okay, i get it. really. i'll just crawl back into my cardboard box now...

i've only been out about three years, so i know i'm still the low man on the totem pole. at the same time though, it's like, dang i've been out for three years now, am i ever going to stop being the low man? i've worked for people before, people who have invested a lot of time and money into their offices, and of course when i have an office of my own i'll be a bit of a megalomaniac myself. it's only natural to want to protect your business. and i completely understand where this person is coming from. but why is her particular approach and her constant reminding me of my place just not sitting well with me? am i being hypersensitive and should i just accept this as the way things are until i've "proven myself" and/or it's my turn to be in control? or do have enough experience under my belt at this point to warrant a little more trust and respect, and is this really not the right kind of environment for me?

and the icing on the cake of the day: geting scratched on my hand by a composite finishing but that had just been used subgingivally on a Hep C positive patient. gotta love the health professions!